New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
