im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
