I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
