now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
