Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
