How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We just shotgunned beers for America
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize