Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
