he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
