It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
