Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
