I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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