I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
