His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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