Nicole vs. Life
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
