Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
