How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
