TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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