an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
