waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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