You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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