you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
