im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
