Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she peed on how many people?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
