I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
