Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
