And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
