your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
