Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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