Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize