I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
