I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
