i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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