it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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