I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
