yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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