I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
