You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
