i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
