Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Drunk is not a location!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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