i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
