So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
