Where is the hickey?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
