I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
