this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
