Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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