yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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