i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
