just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
