just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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