You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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