i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
