But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
