His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
