You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
