Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
false alarm, still single
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