party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize