Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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