his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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