we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize