that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
