how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Non-Jews are for practice
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Someone came in the potted fern
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
