halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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