Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
