You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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